AMERICA

AMERICA
ONE NATION UNDER GOD!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Wild Life in my California backyard

When I first had children, I thought they would miss out on being close to nature. I was raised in the Pine Forests of North Carolina. And I had pets of every shape and size. In the ensuing years, a very diverse crowd of critters has appeared in or near my backyard.These are just a few of them...

A murder of Crows.
A Breeding pair of Black Widows
Buzzards
Coyote
California Ground Squirrel
Horned Lizard
Tarantula
Baby Western Diamondback
Another baby Rattler
Scorpion
Cliff Swallows under the eaves
Road Runner
Red Tail Hawk
The Plesiosaur I saw while on prescription morphine

Monday, March 29, 2010

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS:

Too much mustard on a Corn Dog.
Too many freckles.
Enough Horse power.
A stupid question.
Too many bullets.
Being too smart.
Too much prayer.
All the shrimp I can eat.
Too many friends.
A big enough boat.
Music playing too loud.
Too many motorcycles.
Enough cute baby ducks.
Too much pepperoni on a pizza.
Too many Rodney Dangerfield jokes.
Enough smiles.
Enough tattoos.
Too much coconut cream pie.
A big enough vanilla milk shake.
Being fathered to death.
Too many Three Stooges Marathons.
More than you paid for.
Being too blessed.
Over estimating a child's ability.
Giving too much of your love.
An end to God's great love and mercy...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Friday, March 26, 2010

Freebies

I have two freebies for you.
First is a 100% free BIBLE software From the E4 Group.
Here is their story:

The beginning of E4
In the middle of Bob’s seminary studies we started E4 out of a passion to see God’s church grow into the likeness of Jesus Christ through the equipping of thousands of Christians around the globe with solid Biblical teaching. For the first year we worked out of our single-wide mobile home. It was cramped, but the rent couldn't be beat.
Blessing & Seminary Postponed
We intended that Bob would be done with seminary before the birth of our first child, but Bob had to postpone his studies due to his responsibilities at E4. Starting such a large project was not the best idea for a seminarian, but realizing the great potential to benefit God’s church moved him forward. Bob felt that this CD could reach and impact far more people than he could as a pastor and so with that goal he founded the E4 group with the purpose of returning to seminary to pursue his call to the pastorate as soon as this vision was realized.
More Space & Low Rent
We came to need more space as the birth of Knox approached. Our mobile home was a two bedroom, but we now needed to use Bob’s office for Knox and Bob still needed an office. We also needed some space for warehousing and shipping the CD. God provided a church parsonage with very low rent that gave us enough room for both E4 and our family!
The Workers
To avoid the cost of buying office equipment and computers E4 used paid subcontractors who worked from their homes across the US. At the peak of production we had 45 subcontractors working from their homes doing scanning, proofreading, indexing, tagging and quality control.
Back to School
Once we have our members and the free CD is going out around the world, Bob will be able to return to seminary and pursue his pastoral call.
Thank you for supporting this ministry,
Bob and Lisa
Bob and Lisa Brown

 This software package is excellent for all purpose study, and for reference. It has an internal database search tool and is professional quality from start to finish. It does not work on Apple or Mac. But is compatible with all current versions of Windows. Get started by going to their site You'll be blessed.  



NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
Ever wanted a copy of the most frightening movie ever made? The only thing more shocking than the last 10 minutes of this movie is the first 50 minutes of this movie. 
Sure George A. Romeo's horror classic is truly scary. But how can it be free? you ask.
Excellent question. But I have the answer. And it has nothing to do with piracy I'm all about 100% legal:
In 1968, US copyright law required copyright ownership to be displayed on the actual print of a film (e.g. in the credits). Early prints of Night of the Living Dead had the title Night of the Flesh Eaters, under which was the copyright information. When the title was changed for theatrical release, the distributors apparently failed to include the copyright information - leaving the film uncopyrighted and in the public domain. So it was that the distributors received all the profit from the film, and Romero et al never made a penny from it. This also explains why there are so many different VHS and DVD recordings (mostly of poor quality) available today. Anyone is allowed to make and distribute a copy. 
And you can get a copy at this site:

Be well. Be blessed. And be a blessing.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

From the mouths of Babes...

LOT 'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'

 
GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside, wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up'.

 
DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?'
'No,' replied Johnny, 'How could he, with just two worms?'


HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times, but there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?'
One child blurted out, 'Aces!'


MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'
'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his mother asked.
'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!'


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.  On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.'


BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'Your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?'
The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'

 
UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
 'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon..'
'So, how come He doesn't?' she asked.


UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews.
Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?'
Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!'


TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
'Yes, sir.' the boy replied.
'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked.
'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'


EQUAL REPRESENTATION
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every pet, current and past.
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'All girls.' This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Because everybody always finishes their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'

SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'
'That's at our house.' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I have the World Record...

I applied to The Guinness Book of World Records, for my accomplishment. I told them I hold the record for Drinking more beer than any one person on the planet, in a 24 hour period. I told them I didn't have an exact number of beers. But, that I had consumed between 400 and 500 cans of beer. Of course they want full details and a list of reliable witnesses. And I gave them the full story. Along with the names of three of my friends, two arresting officers and the county magistrate. Along with a copy of the incident report, and my account of the episode.

What follows is the description of my trip to the world record:
On October 30, 1971. Some friends and I were involved in a celebration of the season. It was the day before Halloween, and we ere making quite merry. This was back in the time before adults dressed up for the day. And children didn't wear make up to look dead. But my friends and I weren't about let a chance to party get away.
The festivities kicked off about 1:30 pm, in the backyard of my friend Bill. I HONESTLY don't recall the number of beers I consumed. But I know it was less  than the 3 that had either been spilled or poured on me. And somewhere around 8:00 pm someone came up with the big idea to go see the Maco Light. So 5 of us piled into Bill's Rambler Station Wagon and headed for Wilmington, NC. Having more beer on me than in me, and having had several hours pass since my last beer; I was elected to drive the 60+ miles to see one of the most famous Ghost of North Carolina.

All went well and our trip to the remote trestle scene of the train wreck occurred without incident. When we arrived we were amused to see we were not the only people who had the same idea. There were 5 other carloads of people already there. All were drinking and having a ball. I was abstaining. But not for any social responsibility, or sense of duty to my friends. But simply because I never needed to drink  to have a good time. And in times of threat, a drunk is not capable of self defense.

At some point around midnight, someone suggested we all quiet down and watch for the Spectral light. We all agreed and stared down the tracks into the dark. Either side of the tracks was dense Southern White Pine forest with a swampy under growth. Typical of the Carolina Coastal Plains. Which just happens to be my homeland and the only place on earth where you can find the "Venus Flytrap." After about 10 minutes of intense concentration, I became acutely aware of how deathly silent the night was. No peepers, no crickets, no night sounds at all.

Then suddenly there it was. It was so dim at first, I thought I might just be seeing things. But when someone else said "Look." I knew I wasn't imagining things. In the darkness it was impossible to determine the distance. But it, the light, was changing. It was either growing in intensity, or coming closer, or both. And then I realized that although to light was brighter. It was not illuminating the forest around it. A cold chill, completely unrelated to the weather, climbed up my back. And the hair on my arms jumped to attention. Then someone made another suggestion. And without waiting for a vote, 6 different people started shooting handguns in the direction of the light. The muzzle flashes deprived me of my night vision. And the concussion of the gunfire was ringing in my ears. Temporarily blind and deaf, we all ran for the rambler and headed out of the vicinity. Fast!

A few miles down the road we saw the friendly lights of the Dunkin Donuts. So I pulled in to the parking spot and in we went. Two long haired hippie boys and three rednecks walk into the donut shop. We were so wrapped up in the excitement of the past hour, that we never even noticed the other denizens of the late night donut stop. We were already at the bar, ordering coffee and pastries before we felt the icy stare coming from the six New Hanover County Sheriffs Deputies in the corner. I had already glanced outside and seen the six cop cars that I had missed pulling in, when Renney elbowed me in the ribs and whispered  "Look at all them cops."

We hadn't done anything wrong. Except to personify the downfall of America's youth. Long hair. Blue jeans, with tie-dyed tee-shirts and black leather jackets. You could see it in their eyes. They would be doing America a favor by getting us off the street. No one could count all the virgins that would be saved by eliminating us from the gene pool. Forget the fact that our jackets had patches that said things like "Jesus is the only way" and "God Rules" and "America first." We must have been  trying to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan. And one deputy was sitting there slapping his night-stick into the palm of his other hand, in anticipation of showing us exactly how smoking dope could cause brain damage. So we decided to out wait them. I know it sounds like a fool's errand to try and eat more donuts than a country sheriff.

But after a very short wait they all paid  their bill and drove away into the night. We relaxed, finished up. Paid our tab and headed toward the door. I was sober and it had been over 12 hours since I had anything to drink. So in light of the circumstances, I drove. We were about 40 yards down the road, when three Cop cars pounced on us. Lights flashing and guns drawn we were ordered out of the car and down on the pavement. When the roadside formalities were done, Bill and I were handcuffed and taken away. Me, because I was suspected of DWI. And Bill, because he owned the car and let a drunk drive it. The other three; Renney, Jimmy-Ray and John were left by the side of the road with no car keys, no phone and no place to go. The fact that only the long haired hippie boys were in custody was not lost on me. And became the topic of my choice for those men of the law.

They gave me a breathalyzer test. And apparently didn't like the results and gave me another. Both times it read the same. 0.00% That only meant I must be on something their tests couldn't detect. But they could smell the beer that had dried on my jeans from earlier in the day. So they conducted the interview as if I were drinking. I was as disrespectful as I could be. When they asked questions that were answered by the info on my drivers license. I replied with quips like "Can't you read?"
When they asked how much I weighted, I answered "Ask your wife."

Bill thought I was hysterical. But the deputies weren't humored in the least. They were writing down every thing I said. And when he asked "How many beers did you drink today?"
I said "I can't remember." And he wrote "Suspect says 'He can't remember.'"
I said, "Hey! That could mean 4 or 5 hundred." He wrote "Suspect says "it could be 400-500.'"
The outcome of that night is for another story. I'm still waiting for The Guinness people to rule on my claim. Funny things we did when we were young.
What world records do you have?

On a serious note: I have a blog friend who is asking for prayer. Please hit the knee pads and hold Kat before God  for his care.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

LIFE

Tonight at 8:00 PM, on the DISCOVERY CHANNEL, begins the first of an 11 part series, simply called "LIFE." I know it's not SHARK-WEEK. But what is?

See previews and pictures at:
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/life-videos/

Don't miss this essay on the most wonderful of all creations. Presented in conjunction with The BBC. The picture listed below are from the website DSC.DISCOVERY.COM, and are used without permission of the copyright owners. And are subject to removal at the owners request. So I can't give you permission to use them. I am using them to promote the show; so enjoy. And tune in tonight.











Thursday, March 18, 2010

Oh Nurse!













I must go on record that I love nurses. From before my birth, until the cancer that took her life, my mother was a nurse. She graduated from Nursing School at the Philadelphia General Hospital and the School of Osteopathy. She spent 15 years as the Emergency Room nurse in a County Hospital in North  Carolina. After those 15 years in the trenches of the biggest life and death struggle, she had seen enough of the ends of lives, and transferred to "Labor & Delivery" where she welcomed over half of the residents of Onslow County North Carolina into the world.

I have always been in awe of the people who choose that line of work. It is truly a thankless job. With little or no recognition. Inferior pay and no accolades.  I have been attended by hundreds of nurses in my lifetime. Nurses of every size, shape, gender, race and creed. And I have never left the company of a nurse without saying "Thank you." So I would be remiss if I  didn't say "Thank You"  to That Darn Girl. who sent her friends over here to say "Hi."
I know I'm an acquired taste. And I know that I have the right to remain silent. I just don't have the ability or the desire to do so.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

THERE'S A TRAIN COMING


_____________________________________

Where have you been my blue eyed son?

I've been to the land of the Rising Sun!
I spent 4 years stationed aboard a US Navy ship, in Yokosuka, Japan. Today I'm posting some of my pictures from there. And later I'll tell you of the things I learned from the experience.

A bamboo forest.

Cherry Blossoms in Yokosuka Park

The Great Daibutsu in Nara, Japan

Daibutsu temple in Nara, Japan
Fujiyama From my yard in Nagai, Japan
Traditional Dress Kimono
Himaji Castle

Honcho (bar district) Yokosuka, Japan
Yabusame at Samurai festival Kamakura, Japan
Yabusame at Samurai festival Kamakura, Japan
Daibutsu Kamakura, Japan
Kanazawa garden.
Traditional dress kimono in Kyoto, Japan.

Kyoto, Japan.
Traditional dress Kimono in Kyoto, Japan.

Lanterns in Kyoto, Japan.

Young Samurai.

World Peace Memorial
Nagasaki, Japan

NANZEN-Ji temple Kyoto, Japan.

Nijo-jo (Shrine entrance) Kyoto, Japan.

Shogun's Castle Odawara, Japan.

Samurai

Samurai

Samurai
Samurai

Yabusami

Yabusami

Yabusami
Shinto Shrine

Rush Hour. Tokyo, Train Station.

World Heritage Shrine Nara, Japan

Yabusami