Thursday, December 13, 2012

12 days till Christmas

There have bee a lot of things going on to keep me busy lately, and my poor wife too. We are taking bids from contractors to come and build a room addition with a bathroom suitable for a wheelchair access. It's not easy because for some reason once a contractor comes and sees what we want, it's almost like pulling teeth to get him to come back with a written estimate.

Also on any given Saturday (*rain or shine) from 11:00 am to 2:00 pm there is a free cookout at the parking lot of San Diego Harley-Davidson. Located at 5600 Kearney Mesa Road, in sunny San Diego, Ca. here are a couple of photos taken there.

I have an in with the big guy as he asks my advice on additions to his naughty list.

The owner of San Diego HD is a great guy we all call New York Myke, and he opened up his store to let the local USO hold their annual Christmas Party. He also provided free food and a live band for the day. The place was crawling with rug rats, all dependents of US Military members and a great time was had by all.

This is me and 3 of my brothers who came to visit a couple weeks ago, and they took me to San Diego HD for a charity fund raiser and blood-drive for the surviving members of 
The Saddletramps MC
 home based out of Lakeside, Ca.

I hope to post more photos after I attend 2 Christmas parties this weekend. Be sure to come back and see where I'm at and where I'm going next.

God bless you all

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Thanksgiving with my family

For my long-time friends and followers, I want to say hello and wish you a happy Thanksgiving. The circumstances that caused me to write this blog in the first place, have kept me from attending holiday gatherings over the past seven years. But by the grace of God and the assistance of the people at the Veterans Administration all that ended this past Thursday when I celebrated Thanksgiving dinner with my family.
It was held at the Soboba Springs country club in San Jacinto California where the menu included the traditional fair of Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, candied yams, mixed vegetables, salads, baked ham, and prime rib sliced to order and a dessert cart to die for. And although the meal was excellent and have very little to do with my personal excitement about attending. Like I said it's been over six years since I've seen all these people one place so let me share some of what I saw that gave me the greatest pleasure.

Front row, left to right...
My son Kyle, Yours truly, my mother-in-law Aggie Fikse, My sister in law Cindey Fikse, My niece Rachel Fikse Garnett, my niece Angie Taylor.
Second row...
My nephew Aaron Akamine, my niece Alicia Akamine, (the woman directly over my left shoulder) my niece Heidi Fikse, My wife Joan, Joan's sister Anna Jean Van Zee, My sister in law Violet Fikse, My nephew Keith Taylor, My nephew Errol Garnett, my niece Ruth Arner.
Third row...
Partly obscured my niece Rebecca Fikse-Powell, my nephew Tyler Powell, My nephew Rob Fikse.
Top row...
My brother in law Eugene Van Zee, My nephew Alan Fikse, My brother in law Myron Fikse Sr, My nephew Myron Fikse Jr, My nephew Zack Arner.

family missing from the day include...
My daughter Amanda, My Nephew Andy Van Zee and his wife Christie. My niece Amy Van Zee and her husband Patrick. My niece Patty Ball and her husband Jason.

I have a few more photos photos to share...

my niece Rebecca

My niece Ruth

My niece Heidi

My niece Rachel

My nephew Errol

My brother in law Myron and his lovely bride Vi

My son Kyle and my nephew Rob

My sister in law Cindey

My niece Rachel

there was a ton of kids present but I'm not naming names for security sake.

My nieces Alicia and Angie

My wife (who does not want to be on the internet) and my mother in law and my son

seated, my nephew Alan and standing, my nephew Tyler

My nephew Myron

My nephew Aaron

My niece Alicia

My hope and prayer is that everyone who reads this is as truly blessed as I am. I am, in my opinion, blessed beyond understanding.


Thursday, November 8, 2012

some photos of the recent days

at the end of my block is a barricade. It is meant to keep people from going up into the hills behind my home. I rolled my wheelchair up there the other day and someone had broken the lock.

this is a warning sign tells you to NOT go past that barricade. I guess the barricades there for people who can't read.

this is yours truly, about to ignore both the sign and barricade.

same face new angle.

The sign and the barricade

with the barricade behind me,
moving toward the dead and the road

All that is really out there is the remnants of the wildfires from 2003 and 2007. You can see on the hillside that even the scrub brush hasn't grown back yet.

these are some shots from the legal side of the barricade.

there's really no reason for me to go on the other side of the barricade. I guess in this instance the grass is not greener on the other side.

this one last picture is from my living room makes a kind of wonder why I went outside begin with.

counting my many blessings.


Bitch about the election results.
Slam everybody who didn't vote..
Complain about how stupid everybody was for not seeing the direction this country is now heading.
Punch my fist against the wall in anger and frustration.
Scream at the top of my lungs.
Delete all my liberal friends on Facebook, after leaving nasty words in their profiles.
Rail long and loud about higher taxes coming, less services rendered, more social injustice, the judicial branch legislating from the bench at a higher rate, the installation of class warfare in which everybody above the poverty line becomes the enemy of the state and of the people.
Complain about how lousy the Chargers are this year.
Wish out loud that I knew all the answers.

But no that would do any good so I get down on my knees and pray God that all these things will work out that America will stay free and powerful country, where men and women of every race creed color many dream endeavor to advance to the highest possible level fiscally and philosophically without the threat of tyranny or limits placed on them by politically correct nincompoops.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

a Plateau

I've recently attained another milestone. a Plateau

1. An elevated, comparatively level expanse of land; a tableland.
2. A relatively stable level, period, or state: Mortgage rates declined, then reached a plateau.
intr.v. pla·teaued, pla·teau·ing, pla·teaus
To reach a stable level; level off:

it's been just short two years since VA doctor walked into my room and asked me if I wanted to get back out of that bed and start living a life again. In that two years I made some remarkable strides in regaining strength and movement of all four of my limbs. But last week in a session with my physical therapist we discussed the fact that I had reached a plateau in my progress, and after further assessment she had determined that my goal of "walking again" was unrealistic. And the consult written those two years ago would be closed. She said "it would not be safe for me or my wife if I were given a prosthetic leg and attempted to use it with my current level of skills". She began talking about all the many things that I had accomplished and this time frame, things such as becoming mobile via a motorized wheelchair and a van designed to carry it, receiving a determination that I was fit to go back to work. These are all very important things, especially in light of the fact that my diagnosis still quadriplegic.

It's a little bit hard for me to not be disheartened by this. I have never failed at anything my life and when I told this to my therapist she tried to remind me that I did not fail and that this was not a lack of trying. It was simply that my body have been so devastated by the chemotherapy, it should be considered a miracle that I'm able to move at all much less be discussing why I can't get up to walk away. I really don't feel very miraculous today in fact I feel pretty shitty. I have no intention of giving up fact the opposite is true. You see I believe that if I cannot continue working to get stronger I will get weaker that is something I'm not ready or willing to accept again. I've been a fighter all my life in every sense of the word, and this is just a continuation of a long fight I've been in for a while and if the goal is unrealistic, rather than give up on the goal, I'm just going to set a new goal. 

The thing I need to figure out now is; what is a realistic goal? I still have a Harley Davidson in my garage that calls my name constantly. I think I miss that most of all. Having been a fighter I'm forced to assess the tools that possess. The hands that used to crack walnuts are now barely able to hold the cell phone and dial properly. The fists they used to put my opponents on their butts are unable to clinch anymore. The legs that used to run effortlessly for miles on end are now a stump in a scrawny stick. There is a distinct possibility that after all these years of misusing these tools that my God has made them useless for that purpose anymore. 

As an example,
Last night we were at Hometown buffet for the first time in six years and while I was sitting there enjoying my meal the man at the table next to us begin asking the children seated by him about how much money their mother was making. When the kids asked about it he replied, "if she's making money now, it means I get paid her less". I was stunned but when I saw the look of joy on the children's faces flush out and become pained expressions I got so angry that I actually said to my wife, "I wish I could stand up right now, I'd kick his ass". So maybe that's why I can't stand up. I still have lessons to learn and angers to control. Also last night at Hometown buffet I paid the seniors discount price which means I've had 60 years to learn those lessons and those 60 years I'm still a hardheaded man who would settle first with his fists than to sit idly by and watch somebody get hurt.

So I'll work on this, finding a new goal probably something that includes becoming more Christian in my actions and reactions and less of a knucklehead. Either way I'm not ready to give up.


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Around my house

Here are some photos I took in the early morning hours while waiting for my transport rides to the VA for physical therapy. All the pics in this post were taken with my iPhone4