A LETTER TO GOD

Oh dear god I’m writing this letter to you
Cause I don’t have a clue
Can you help me?

I’m sitting here
Simply trying to figure out
What my life’s all about it
Can you tell me?

I never wanted to be
The person you see
Won’t you tell me who I am?

I always wanted to die
But you kept me alive
Please tell me who I am

I lie awake conducting this symphony,
That you have gifted to me,
but I don't ever sleep

Don’t get mad
Cause I get weak inside
And I start to fall apart
Cause I feel nothing

I never wanted to be
Some kind of comic relief
Please show me who I am

I been tortured and scorned
Since the day that I was born
But I don’t know who I am

And I thank you man for everything
Sorry I’m so frightened about all of this
Oh I wish I could give you more

But all the lights are shining down on me
And I feel violated by it all

I never wanted to be
The person you see but thank you
Oh god please tell me now
Are you disappointed or are you proud
I’ve been also EVRYTHING, EVRYTHING!

I’m so sorry I’m so weak
And I turned into a freak
But I don’t know ANYTHING, ANYTHING!

I’ve lost all self-esteem
A million, everything
And I feel NOTHING, NOTHING!

Oh God please tell me now
God please tell me now
Cause I feel nothing

Oh dear god I’m writing this letter to you
Cause I’m coming undone
Please help me, me!
_______________________________________

Now ain't that purdy? I have a twinge in my heart whenever I read these lyrics. Yes LYRICS! This could easily have been my "Letter to God."  But this is not my song. It echos so many of the feelings I have had while searching for the TRUTH. The emptiness and the loneliness of being and not just seeming! Leaving no stone unturned and trying everything to fill the emptiness in my heart. And I mean EVERYTHING!

Line up the Big Ten.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, and I'm 10 for 10! I've knocked them all down. Some more than once, and some more than the others combined. And I hit them all in "deeds" not just in "thoughts." But I'm not a celebrity, so you never got to hear Joy Behar, Kathy Griffin or any other self righteous gossip monger drag my name through the mud and slime. Not that I would mind personally. Or that I would let their opinions of me, be more important than my opinion of me. Yet they have and occasionally still do this person!

No, this is not my song! And I chose to post the lyrics rather than the video, just to get you to read the message. And ignore the tune or any preconceived notions you may have about the Singer-Song writer who composed this song. I won't blame you if you don't know anything about this singer. 99% of what you think you know about her is something you heard or read in the NEWS. And I doubt that you have any of her music in your IPod. She hasn't had many hits. And she hasn't had any hits in a decade or more.

Is she a "Role Model?"
Are you? Am I? Certainly not I. I am a wretched sinner. And I always try to warn people that following in my path may be hazardous to your health. But I love her music. And nothing will change that. My wonderful children look at me as though I have two heads whenever I play her music. And if you have ever sworn to "Never have any knowledge of this person's music." I apologize for tricking you into reading this person's song. 

But if you stop right now! You can still remain blissfully ignorant. Read no further! This song was written. And can't be unwritten. And the info is three lines down...

"A LETTER TO GOD."
Words and music: Courtney Love.