Ramble on...

When someone asks you, "What are you thinking about?" Do you tell them the item that was pivotal in your mind? Or do you say, "Oh, nothing really important?" Were you able to quiet the inner dialog in your head? Or were you on autopilot? If you were on autopilot; Were the things going on in there too personal? Or embarrassing? Or inane? Or too sophomoric to share? Have you ever tried to give voice to the random thoughts in your head? Maybe the cure for cancer rolled bye and you missed it. Maybe you could solve a great need for your family. Maybe the survival of th species is inside your head and needs to have some of the dross drawn off to get to it. Of course if the voice inside your head is not your own, you need to talk to someone. Preferably a professional.
These are my thoughts. The voice in my head that is only a moment away from my mouth. But never makes it all the way to my lips. Please also remember that all of this took place much faster than I could write it...
"Why do women, universally hate the Three Stooges? Is it because of the slap-stick? They like Buster Keaton, and Laurel and Hardy. Why not the... When the weather girl says 20% chance of rain, does she mean there's a 100% chance it will rain 20% of the day? Or a 20% chance it will rain 100% of the day? If I could run at the speed of light and I held a mirror in my hand; What would I see? People who think that watching TV will make them stupid, probably had a pre-existing condition. Jack Nicholson is a great horror actor. But who told him he was handsome? It is possible to be educated beyond your intelligence. Unfulfilled genius is the biggest waste of a God given gift. My diagnosis has recently changed from Quadriplegic to Quadriparatic. Hope I can get a wheelchair with a flame job. What ever happened to hatpins? The opposite of faith is not doubt. The opposite of faith is fear. If you think a sociopath is scary. You should look up the term Pathological Narcissist. God drives a Plymouth. The apostles drove a Honda. The Bible says "He drove them out in a great Fury." And "The apostles were all in one Accord." Academia is responsible for some of the worst events perpetrated on mankind. Just because I have an idea, doesn't make it an ideal. Who said that? Oh it was me. Why does that jerk on the History Channel keep saying "Evolution" There it is again. Three times in ten minutes. Snake does not taste like chicken. Even turkey doesn't taste like chicken. Snake tastes like snake. Eel tastes like eel. Bananas taste like bananas, and Squid tastes like salt. "The Bridges of Madison County" is not a Clint Eastwood movie. It's a movie with Clint Eastwood in it. But it is not a... If Steven King wrote about his fears. What monsters lived under the beds of Stanley Kubrik, David Lynch, Rob Zombie and Ridley Scott, in their boyhood? Thankfully my sins are covered over by the blood of the Christ. Why will people always believe something you say bad about them. But will resist when you say something complimentary? Why don't we launch nuclear waste on rockets toward the Sun? Are they afraid they'll miss? How many tomatoes in a truck-load? I want a wheelchair that can smoke the tires. It's the torque, not the horse power that counts. If a rifle recoil hurts. Think about what the bullet strike feels like. Yes, I'd rather be a hammer than a nail. If you fall down, the best recovery is to jump back up and say "TA-DAH!" like you meant to do it.

If you're still reading this. Thanks. Now I want to shift gears. Someone near and dear to me replied to my rants on facebook. I'll call this "HE SAID, SHE SAID." Please feel free to join the project. I concede I was bested, so help a brother out:

He Said: "I 'm a victim of circumstance. I used to work at a bakery. I needed the dough. But it was hard work so I went on the loaf. See the deer?does the deer have a little doe? Yea, two bucks. NYUK, NYUK NYUK..."

She Said: "I tried to be a tailor, but it didn't suit me. It was a sew-sew job and I wasn't cut out for it."

He Said: "I tried to be a carpenter. But I kept getting hammered. And then I got bored. After that, I was a mechanic and wrenched my ankle."

She Said: " I used to work in an orange juice factory, until I got canned. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me, said I couldn't concentrate. You know, same old boring rind over and over again. When I quit they beat me to a pulp. It was the pits."

Any and all replies are welcome. Just try to stay off the summit of Smut Mountain...