AMERICA

AMERICA
ONE NATION UNDER GOD!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Gift Ideas for the Female in your life


This little gem is a completely restored 1967 Shelby GT 500. All the serial numbers match. Every woman I have ever known has had a jones for a monster Mustang. And The Shelby GT500 is the King Cobra, Chevy killer. This bad girl will pass a corvette so fast, the Vette will loose paint as the GT goes by. Shelby GT500s became famous after their appearance in two movies. First in the San Francisco, chase scene of the movie "Bullett" with actor Steve McQueen at the wheel. Second, as the Hot, finicky Eleanor in the movie "Gone In Sixty Seconds" driven by Nicholas Cage. This car is on sale at E-Bay for a paltry $125,000.00




The 2010 Harley Davidson, Soft-Tail Classic. All the power, style and attitude as the other HD Big Twin offerings. But the seat clearance is 23 inches, to suit the more demure stature of the feminine rider. Almost every motorbike comes with extras. But when you buy a Harley, They throw in an attitude for free.



If black, Red, Blue, Silver or white don't excite your girl. Then you can always take the custom road, and have a pink scooter made to order. A proper build will lighten your wallet by $75,000.0-$125,000.00. But she's surely worth all that and more.


Of course you must consider all the soft skin on your sweetie. Because nothing ruins an after ride rub-down worse than road-rash. So deck her out in Fox Creek Leather's Womens Classic. $375.00


Again, protection is the word of the day. And Harley does it best. Great looks, fit form and function married together in a boot that will look great at the end of her denim clad stems. $120.00


Also protection for those dainty digits, also comes from the Harley store. These gloves will protect from rain, cold and the occasional stone tossed up by the cager in front. Plus the armored knuckles will give an advantage when the ignorant midnight shift gas station attendant starts to get lippy.


And for when the ship hits the sand, The Heckler & Koch Compact 45, in .45 ACP, is designed with the smaller hands of the female persuasion in mind. Plus the gas operated slide helps to dampen the felt recoil of the big bore .45 ACP.


With all the vibration and tough recoil from these other toys, she will need a watch. A tough watch. But a tough watch with a little class. I recommend the Rolex Oyster Perpetual, with diamonds and 18kt gold. $75,000.00


Don't forget sweets for the sweet. A 5 pound Hershey Bar of solid milk chocolate should satisfy any sweet tooth or chocolate cravings.

Of course she deserves a chance  to get away from it all. But where to? I have been every where in this big blue world. But I'm trying to think like a chick. So, I'd say the French Riviera. Specifically Saint Tropez, France. Hotel rooms start around 190Euros to 360Euros per night and look something like this;

Of course you don't want to risk getting your paint scratched by shipping your shiny new motorbike to the French coast. But you don't want to go pedestrian either. May I suggest running with the devil? No, not THE DEVIL.
This devil;

The Lamborghini Diablo. $340,000.00. In pink, cause it's a chick car. And it ain't for you, dude. It's for the woman you love. And if you behave, you might get to ride in the shotgun seat. But only if you're really really good.

Actually all of these objects are mere tokens of your appreciation and esteem. They might get you a hug, or a peck on the cheek. But if you're looking to win her heart. Nothing says love like a 2kt Diamond solitaire.



 You can't even see where the Titanic hit that chunk of ice.
Out the door for $30,000.00. But a diamond is forever.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, Y'ALL.

13 comments:

Edie said...

Okay so I'm the one who doesn't have a thing for mustangs but hey, we can have differing opinions and still be friends. :)

I'll take that cute pink scooter :), leather jacket and boots, firearm, hershey bar (with almonds please), Lamborghini (don't wanna ride the bike in the rain), and of course the beautiful diamond ring. What a thoughtful and generous man you are. :D

It's not the eating of candy that I was referring to, it's the promotion of evil. I don't think tarter sauce would taste very good on that candy but you are entitled to eat them any way you want. :D

Amber said...

I'll take one of each - except the last one. I'm not a fan of diamonds. Strange, I know.

Kelly said...

Okay, I'll take the boots, jackets, jewelry, chocolate and car. WOOOO!!! Love it!

Kelly said...

By the way, I don't need the firearms. We are weapons central over here. My husband loves guns. He hates hunting, but loves shooting. He just doesn't want to kill anything. I love that about him. (We don't fault those who do hunt, we eat meat like the next guy. But we buy it from the butcher.)

IdaR said...

I'll take one of each, but if I have to choose one, I'll take that little sparkley at the end. 2 karat hunk of ice?! HECK yeah!

Silver said...

woooooooh..HOT!

Which would i pick????? WHICH...????

At first i couldn't decide on whether the black hot Harley would be nice..coz if it was, then it would be nice to throw in the black hot leather jacket and those hot black boots too ...

Then i realised, wait. i don't ride. That was my love's big dream.

So that concludes one thing.

We all really DON'T need anything from Santa. We just need to know that our loved ones are happy and to have them with us, that .. nothing can beat.

hugs,
~Silver

Violet said...

And all this time I thought I was special 'cuz I luvvvvv a Mustang! This one does make me pant just a bit...

But then you lost me until we got down to the romantic get-away, the chocolate, and the bling.

SusanD said...

Those are some fantastic choices. I actually have some of them. hahaha motorcycle, leather jacket, boots, gloves, diamonds, and guns. The mustang would be nice icing. lol. Blessings, SusanD

Dutch Sugar Babe said...

Jacket: yes
Hershey Bar: YES!

Becki Jacket said...

WHAT ABOUT LINGERIE?!?!! HAHAHA!

UBERMOUTH said...

I'll take the leftover diamond, as I am not greedy.

NicNacManiac said...

You know, for me it would be the pool and the comfy bed...all by myself....I enjoy time to myself because life is so hectic and I find so much joy in peacefulness!
Fabulous list...very considerate!!

Heidi said...

No kitchenware? Hmmm. Pink bike, then, I guess.