Saturday, April 21, 2012


Have you ever seen an object, that because there was nothing nearby to compare it with, you couldn't tell if the object was large or small, or close or far? But when you have something to compare it with, you gain perspective, or insight into the object...

For example, this is a photo of the target I shot when I qualified with the M14 in the Navy.

The writing at the top indicates that all 30 rounds hit inside the human silhouette. And if you had a calibrated eye, you could determine by the size of the holes on the paper, just how significant this score was. But going by size perspective, it looks like a pretty lousy scatter pattern.

However, once I place a 25cent piece on the target, maybe now you can see that this target is only shaped like a man, but is actually the size of a piece of notebook paper. The lesson here is much more than how good of a shot I am. It has to do with the trials in my life. Some days I feel like  everything is just too much to handle. The constant pain in my neck and back,  the endless reminder that I may never walk again, the ongoing need for assistance just to perform daily tasks that I used to take for granted. 
Things like;
Putting on my clothes. Holding a spoon to feed myself. Opening a bag of gummy bears. Picking up and holding a telephone. Washing my hands. Reaching the sink. Tossing a tissue into the trash can. Cleaning my glasses. Taking money out of my shirt pocket to pay for french fries. Opening a screw off lid on a bottle of Mt. Dew. Lean over and pick up the pencil I just dropped on the floor. Punching out a loud mouth in a bar. Punching a time clock. Ripping off my shirt like Hulk Hogan. Drop to my knees and ask for forgiveness...The list of things I can't do, seems like a very long list indeed, but only when I compare them to the list of my capabilities prior to 2006.

But when I put it into a perspective of what I wasn't able to do, just last year, I'm practically golden. Four years ago, I couldn't reach up and scratch my own nose. Maybe I have to have the cashier open my Mt. Dew, but at least I can hold it in either hand now, and drink it without getting wet. I can't run like the wind any more, but I put 38 miles on my wheelchair in the last 3 weeks. And I have had a chance to meet some very amazing people along this path. People I would never have met any other way. From wounded marines just out of highschool, to retired generals with decades of war stories to tell. Young army privates, with that lost and confused look still wearing the dog-tags issued in bootcamp to grizzled old field sargents who did tunnel rat duty in Viet Nam. Some in wheelchairs like me, others still physically fit to serve, men with minds so twisted by what they beheld in combat, that they are practically in a zombie world, While others are so sharp and witty, you'd never believe they ever ever walked a battlefield, much less shot at another human being.

Some days I feel pretty crappy about where I am and what I'm currently going through. But when I take the time to put it in perspective, then it doesn't seem so bad.

it doesn't get any better than that, NYUK NYUK NYUK


NanaDiana said...

What a post! It really put your life into a positive prospective in the end. I am so proud that you have come so far. I know you are far from where you started but you are a long way from the bottom you were at.

Hope you had a wonderful time at the movies. Which one of those crazies do YOU identify with? NYUK NYUK NYUK...Hugs- Diana

Karen said...

I know you didn't choose this particular leg of your journey, but you're traveling it with a courage and determination not all possess. You're inspiring, although that's not your goal. You remind us what's important... thank you, dear friend.

Elsie said...

You are true to your name, you are a Warrior! I've been busy transferring my blog and I'm a bit behind, but I saw this when I added you to my reading list again at the place and had to say - YOU ROCK!!!

Hope the movie was enjoyable!

Heff said...

Hell, even if that target was LIFE SIZED, I'd say you fucked him up pretty well. Off point, I know - but still....


You truly are an inspiration to so many, I hope that you can remember to be an inspiration to yourself, my friend.

One of your main accomplishments is that you've retained your humanity and compassion!

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Laura said...

hi there, and saying thankyou for following my blog (via diana) you have an interesting blog, cant wait to checkout some more of your posts!
laura x

Robert Bass said...

YO Kurt--- dont get seems everyone at least kinda

kisses your ass....well not me..but you can kiss my atrophied ass

if you wish...keep truckin Krippled Warrior