Going to the dentist.

This Friday I have an appointment at the VA dental office. I'm not having any problems. It's just been such a long time since I've been able to go there (4 years since my medical problems began, 1 year paralyzed, 3 years limited mobiiy), and now that I'm able to travel again, I figure "Why not?" I mean how bad can it be? I survived leg amputation. A few teeth being scraped and cleaned can't begin to compare to that. I've been going to the dentist all my life. A few fillings, 3 wisdom teeth removed, countless cleanings and X Rays 

and 

1 horror story.

While stationed in Yokosuka, Japan in 1976, I was out on the town with a few Ugly Americans having a loud time. Not rowdy or belligerent. Just loud.When one particularly quarrelsome Japanese National voiced his disapproval with the highest insult possible for them,

"BAKA GAIJIN"

(baka guy-gene, literally  "Stupid Foreigner")

Words alone have started world wars. And getting into a fight was not on the list of things I was trying to accomplish that night. So in an effort to intimidate my antagonist from escalating his disapproval. I glared at him intently (a very rude breach of cultural etiquette) and I proceeded to eat a glass of beer.

OK, I didn't eat the entire glass. But I did take 3 large bites out of the top rim, chewed them into chunks and swallowed them. The shocked look on Mr. Tokyo's face was priceless. And he and his friends made a hasty retreat for a quieter location. What none of us realized is that at one point I cracked one of my upper right molars. But the crunching of the glass when chewing it kept me from hearing it go. And maybe it was the adrenalin or the alcohol, I'm not sure which, that kept me from feeling the pain. I just know that there was no pain, until reveille the next morning. And then it was exquisite. 

So off to the dentist I went.

Enter Doctor EVIL!

The assessment is grim, the tooth had been cracked all the way to the roots, and needed to be removed. The doctor administered one Novocaine shot and left the room for 5 min. When he returned and asked if I was numb I replied "No sir." 
So he gave me a second shot, left the room for another 10 min. and asked again if I was numb? To which I replied "No Sir!"
So he gave me a third shot of Novocain and disappeared out the door again. When he returned another 10 min. later and asked if I was numb I truthfully and emphatically replied "NO!"

To which he responded "that's not possible. You must be confusing the sensation of pressure with the sensation of feeling". (WTFO)

I assured him that I could feel him touching my face, at which point he opened my mouth, reached in with the extractors and pulled my tooth anyway. A blinding hot flash of pain shot through my head. And I came up out of the chair right behind my tooth. I unleashed a string of sailor words that are still echoing over Yokohama Bay 30 years later. 

Lieut. Cmdr. Evil reminded me that I was being insubordinate in my language. And with blood spraying on my dress whites, I responded with a threat to his physical well-being. And I chased him out of office, down the hall, out of the medical building, and down the street. It must have been an alarming sight. Because in a matter of mere seconds shore patrol was on my trail, subdued and arrested me. By the time I came before the officer the day to explain my situation, my mouth was so numb I could hardly speak.

And while I anticipate no such problems this trip, I'm always up for a little adventure! See you around the blogosphere…