Thursday, February 28, 2013


Lately I have had some changes in my life.
I went from looking like this

To looking like this

Then there was the brand new HP Pavilion Laptop I got as a birthday gift in August, which just lost its 4th hard drive in 6 short months of ownership, is now a paperweight and has been replaced by a Dell Inspiron that cost less and runs with a faster processor. It has been a lot of work to  get all of my software loaded and re-licensed, but I have been getting reacquainted with windows 7 and re-learning the interface and I remembered how much I love computers.
For Christmas I got a copy of Rosetta Stone and I am learning to  parle vous francais.

Recently, my daughter shared on her Facebook page that she had just completed three years clean and sober living. This is something I have not spoken about before now because I was not sure my daughter was making it public knowledge. But since she shared it, now I am also. We went with her as she progressed through detox as a beautiful young teenager caught in the throes of alcohol addiction, and her progress through AA to today. I am so very proud of her for recognizing and admitting she had a problem, taking responsibility for it and then taking and completing the steps to correct the problem. She has a lot of friends from that side of the world, and they all support her as much as she supports them.

Most recently I was graduated from the physical therapy department. I used the word graduated rather than dropped despite the latter being more accurate. I wrote about that in a previous blog titled Plateaus. An update on that situation; having been out of physical therapy for a month now I have   seen some changes for the worse. And fear has crept back into my life in the form of regression.  regressing from being able to get up in the morning and get in my wheelchair to either go to the VA for occupational therapy or to go to a movie at the local Regal Cinema, or to visit the bikes and bikers at San Diego Harley Davidson, or just to sit in front of the television and watch SpongeBob  
Squarepants. To some people the opportunity to lay in bed all day long, everyday for 4 years may sound like prayer answered. Well  I already did my 4 years in bed without getting up and it was more like HELL ON EARTH than heaven answered prayer. And the thought of spending a single day, much less the rest of my life, in bed brings tears to my eyes. I did it once, I don't want to do it again.

Also I have recently noticed that the progress I was making in gaining hand strength has changed and  although my hands still  measure at the new levels of strength, I am loosing flexibility in my fingers particularly and my hands now have low level pain during the  night. This is reminiscent of the 2 years it took from the time I came out of my coma and was paralyzed from my neck down and struggled to regain strength and range of motion enough to reach up and scratch my nose. I try to remain calm and let my God be in charge, something I'm not always skilled at doing. But on occasion I do begin to  get scared and think about how terrible it would be to live like  that again. So I spoke to  my OT about my concerns and she agreed that we will start work on exercises to strengthen the flexing muscles in my hands to try and regain range and flexibility in my fingers. As to the pain, I'm not looking to go back to  opiates again, been there done that too. Maybe the new exercises will relieve the pain also.

On the brighter side

I have been going to the movies a lot lately. I have seen all the Action flicks and 6 of the 9 films nominated for an Oscar this year. The 3 I missed were Les Miserables, The Life of Pi and the winner Argo. I was sure that Lincoln would win (yes I do watch the Academy Awards show) and was quite surprised that anything with Ben Affleck would win after he made Gigli. And just today the Times of India reports that the dumbass leader of Iran believes that Washington DC forced Affleck to make the movie just to embarrass Iran... So maybe you should all go see Bruce Willis' new movie to stay on top of developments in Russia, cause you never do know.

Thanks for dropping in and feel free to leave a comment. 

Oh one minor change on my blog... I am no longer allowing anonymous comments. There was just too much spam


Karen said...

You must see Argo, you'll love it! Most suspenseful movie I've seen in years, keeps you at the edge of your seat. I must say, Ben A. redeemed himself in my eyes, especially knowing he directed it.

You won't let yourself slide back into that bed routine, you've got too much determination. Keep up with the work your OT gives you and ask for more. So sorry you were dropped from that program, but perhaps you can simulate it with your OT somewhat.

CONGRATS to your daughter!!!! Three years sober is a HUGE accomplishment and takes tremendous will power. She gets that trait from her Dad.

NanaDiana said...

Oh Kurt! I am so sorry that you are having some problems and feel like you are slipping backward. I'm with you- 4 years in bed is Hell enough for one man. I certainly hope that you can do enough PT to strengthen and give you extended flexibility and that you don't lose any more function. Feeling scared is an awful thing.

You and my hubby would be great movie buddies. He loves movies and was positive that Lincoln was going to win, too.

I am glad to hear about your daughter. My hubby has not had a drink in 33 years since the day our youngest was born. He has a very addictive personality so if HE can do it- your daughter can do it. God bless her and God bless you all for seeing her through it all.

And, although I like beards, I think you look quite handsome clean shaven. It takes some getting used to though, doesn't it? My son just shaved his beard he has had for about 10 years. I like the look on him, too.

Have a great night and I hope your tomorrow is a good one- Hugs- Diana

Brittany Sommer said...

Oh my gosh! I feel like you are a completely different person without the beard!

About your daughter, that is absolutely amazing. Congrats to her!

I'm sorry you got dropped from that program but I know you will carry on!

Red Shoes said...

Hi, my friend... I am so pleased to hear of your daughter's progress... I had a four-year journey like that wth my daughter... I know first hand what that is like.

I am sorry for the gains that you seem to be giving up... but am happy that you seem to be making overall progress just the same.

You are a good man, Kurt...

~shoes~ said...

I was hoping Lincoln would win, but I didn't see any of the movies.

Thanks for dropping by again, and your kind words.
Blessings to you, KW.

King of New York Hacks said...

Congrats on your daughter...truly inspiring..there seems to be an epidemic here in NYC of addiction recently and everyone is being vocal, and not hiding from it, alcohol, prescription and otherwise...she's an inspiration..thanks for sharing that...I didn't see one of the movies up for the first time in my life...I usually see a few or do the sneakathon in a theater to see a few of them lol..but with Hurricane Sandy, I saw none..I did watch the show though and out of all the coming attractions I saw, I think The Life of Pi is what I want to see the most...I saw Les Mis on Broadway a few times so you cant beat that in my mind..great post bro, but dont you miss tasting soup a day later lol

Betty Manousos said...

hi kurt,

wow, you look like a completely different person without the beard!
and congratulations on your daughter. how amazing this is!

wishing you a great weekend my friend.

Choleesa said...

CONGRATS to your daughter. That is awesome. Takes a strong and brave person to admit their problem.
Hang in there buddy.


Argo is being boycotted by a lot of Canadians pissed off that Hollywood turned Americans,and not the Canadians, as the heroes who got the hostages out.

I am sure you will do well with your OT,so don't worry. You've already overcome much and have the ability not to back slide.I like your resolve. :)

I spnet two weeks in bed when I fractured my ankle and could not even stand. I was depressed at the end of those 2 weeks. that was more than enough for me!

Katherine Jenkins said...

We just saw Hitchcock today. It was about now he had to fight Paramount Pictures to make his movie Psycho. In the end, it was his most successful film. Now I want to go rent all the past Alfred Hitchcock movies. I love the movies and glad to hear you are getting a chance to see a lot of them!!!!

Lorna said...

Well, KW, I understand your fear, only in my case it is a scoliotic back. I have a hard time walking now, partly because I am not in the best shape and partly because of the twists in my spine.

I am sick to death that Romney lost, I believe that Obama actually has evil intentions, I both laugh and dislike liberal progressivism, and I like GREEN, but only as a color in my house.

So did you read the article that Judge Andrew Napolitano wrote? Or the article about Muslim women? Or the article and video about General Motors being actually China Motors?